It was June 2004. The weather in NJ was gorgeous. I had just quit a job that required a horrible NJ commute and started working with my husband and Father-in-law as a bookkeeper for his auto parts store. I had recently lost a pregnancy I believed to be caused by the stress of that awful commute I endured twice a day. Things were looking up. I was happy again. My 4 year old son was doing great in "school" (his daycare center).
A couple weeks later, in the beginning of July, I found out I was pregnant again. I had a good feeling this time, with my work situation changed and my demeanor greatly improved. I decided to do something that I had never really done before. I joined a pregnancy message board. This particular message board consisted of a number of different forums referenced by birth month - in my case, expected birth month. I joined the March 2005 group since I expected my due date would be in mid-March of the following year. It was an interesting journey, learning the ins and outs of "siggys", "avatars", and the ups and downs of other hormonal women's comments to each other and sometimes AT each other. This board was okay, I thought. But, I felt I needed to steer clear of some of the members - they seemed pretty volatile at times.
Somewhere along the way, someone came on and posted about a different board that was more secure - where outsiders were unable to read the posts made by members. I thought that sounded like a better option than dealing with some of the crazies I encountered on that first board. So, off I went - to this new, more secure environment. It was similar to the first, as it had separate forums for each birth month. So, again, I became a member and joined the ladies on the March 2005 forum.
It was different, all right. MUCH different. This bunch of ladies was much more mature and respectful of each other - a whole different world from the pettiness I had encountered on the first board.
We posted about every happy, sad, and gross little facts of being pregnant. Some of us were pregnant for the first time. And yet others were already Moms of older children. Some of us had our kids close together. Some of us spaced them out. Some were planned. Some were "bonus babies". Some were working Moms. Others were SAHM's (Stay At Home Moms). We came from all over the United States - from Massachusetts to California with different income levels and childhood experiences and personalities. As time went on, our lives became intertwined. We shared things about each other that close relatives and friends didn't even know. We dealt with losing that board as a server went kaput, finding each other again, and moving to a new board (set up by the same people who created that 2nd board). Eventually, with time and more issues with security and/or personalities, we created our own private, secure board and have been together now for nearly three years. We suffered our own loss of one board and moved on to another location. We've added a select few women along the way and lost a few more here and there. We all suffer those losses and miss those ladies as if they were family.
We have always said, "wouldn't it be great to all meet one day?" And we toyed with locations and dates from time to time. But, it was one member in January of this year who finally said, "Come on, Ladies - we're DOING this! I want an all-girls weekend!" And so the planning began. We nailed down a date. We nailed down a location that allowed the highest number of people to drive rather than fly - Indianapolis it was. We planned for a weekend in April. One member had experience with booking rooms in Indy through Priceline.com and had good luck with that. So, a number of us chose that route, while others chose to book the traditional way. It seemed as if it would be FOREVER before that weekend would arrive.
We just returned yesterday from that weekend. And meeting these ladies was one of the high points of my life. We knew each other by sight as we've shared innumerable photos of ourselves, our kids, our husbands and significant others, as well as extended family members. We've celebrated happy events and supported each other through lows in life. So, meeting this very diverse group of supportive and amazing women was something to celebrate, in itself. We lit up Indianapolis for a few days and left our own mark there, I'm sure of it. We partied and talked and danced and laughed more than I can remember in recent memory. Even if nobody remembers us - I am quite sure that those who were able to attend will always remember it as an amazing and wonderful trip. I am lucky to have such amazing friends. And, somehow I knew this to be the case even before I met them in person. Outsiders who have an understandably cynical view of meeting people on the internet were skeptical about all this - and maybe rightfully so. Yet, knowing these women as I have for three years, there was nothing but excitement and joy. The internet isn't always as bad as the press it gets. ;)
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